Have there ever been days you just need a time out? When you feel like nothing is going your way? When a 10 min time out would make a world of difference? That is how I feel today.
Captain T has been hitting that raw nerve, over and over again. The little pincher is not listening. King Brutis (the dog) never listens. So needless to day this has been a tough day.
I had to put Captain T in his bedroom because he just does not listen to me. He has been hitting me lately. I am wondering what I am doing to prompt that and what I can do to fix this problem. 3 year olds are hard to deal with and hard to understand. There world is so little and they are pushing to find there boundaries. I know that this is not the first and only time this will happen, I know that it is going to happen again when he is a teenager.
I also know in my heart it is because I am very disconnected right now. I am not in the mood to be right there for him and that is part of these issues. I need to find a way to get out of this so that I can be a better mother and get back on track with this. I love him so much. He is my world. I hope that I can get back on track soon so I can be the moter that he deserves. The mother that God intended me to be.
I am having a bad day today, and that is the easy way to say it. I am struggling today with everything. I love listening to podcasts, and now want to podcast and love doing it, but I am not sure what to do. I feel alone in this world. It is crazy and a terrible place to be.
I have been told before that I could not be depressed because I have made plans and done things, but that is from a person who I don't believe understands depression. I have some great days, and then all of a sudden out of nowhere it all goes down hill for a couple of days. I am struggling these days and I hope that it starts getting easier sooner rather than later.
I have a very hard time because I feel that my husband does not care about my feelings at times; I feel that my kids are against me. I know that because of recent events I have a clarity of who my friends are, and I was very mistaken as to what I had thought. It saddens my soul to be so wrong.
I am feeling pressure to potty train because captain T is now 3 1/2 and should be out of diapers, but I don't have the mindset to be able to do that. I know in my heart that there will be accidents, but I just don't know how to handle them. I get so angry. I know he can do it. I know he is ready and he just won't do it and it makes me sad.
I have so many emotions that are there and it makes me so sad to have them. I want to get out of it, the only way that I know how to do it, I can't bring myself to do it. I need to start working out and eating well, here is the issue I am facing. I can't take my boys to the Y because Captain T will not stay in the childrens room, he cries and cries. I need to go in the morning for me to feel the effects. By the end of the day my stress level is so high that I just can not bring myself to go, so I find every reason that I can not go, and I don't go. I am fighting a loosing battle and it is starting to get really hard and I just don't know what to do about it.
I see how it is effecting my boys and it is making me sad, but I just don't know how to stop this downward spiral and make it better.
Today I took Captain T to the dentist. This was his second trip to the dentist. The first trip was crazy, I had to hold him down. He was no happy. He was crying. I was scared to go again.
I am so proud of him he did so well. He told me that he was going to sit by himself. He did well he sat there. He got x-rays taken and sat there like a big boy. He listened to the hygentist. I can't believe believe what a difference 6 months makes. He did so well.
I set up Little Pincher's first appointment. I am so proud of Captain T!
This year is a mother's day I will never forget. First I completely forgot to send any cards, buy any gifts or do anything for mother's day... OOPS! Then we were going out to dinner with - just the women. Olive Garden had over an hour wait (big suprise) so we decided to go to Antonios. Well I stayed at Olive Garden to wait for Grandma, Mom went over to Antonios. Kristen met her there with her daughter. After sitting out in the cold and not dressed appropriately waiting for grandma. Well it turns out that grandma is at another Olive Garden. We all finally get to sit down together and eat, and mom gets a piece of plastic in her food. Then we head over to Kristen's house. The boys are acting crazy. But it was fun.
This will be a mother's day I will never forget. It started off unforgeable, being able to go back to bed and be woken up with my boys smiling and hugging me. What a better way to wake up and feel loved. No better feeling in the world.
The most important thing for me today is to be able to spend it with My Grandmother, mother, sister and niece. I am so blessed.
I love my family. Today is Mother's Day and I am so very happy. My wonderful husband let me sleep in this morning. I usually just get up with the kids. But today he let me sleep in. I really needed it. I was woken up to both of my boys very happy to see mommy. It is a great feeling to be loved so much by your children.
I am excited my mother, sister, grandmother and baby niece are going out for a late lunch to celebrate Mother's day. The men are going to get together at my sister's house for a cook out. It will be wonderful to enjoy a meal with the women of my family. It will be nice to enjoy a warm meal with out the kids getting upset, or having to help them out. I love my children, but I like having warm meals sometime as well.
I am hoping to record my first podcast tonight after we are done with our mother's day festivities. I am very excited especially since I got my recording software working
Happy Mother's Day to all Moms in the world!!!
I am getting ready to publish this website and get the show notes together for the first show. I am excited. I am sure this will be interesting. I have to go get the youngest one, since he is done with the nap..... so will have to work on this more later.
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